ChrisKilber.com

Health · Wealth · Freedom in a Modern World

The Marketing Plan – It’s True

May 19th, 2010

In the beginning was the Marketing Plan.

And then came the Assumptions.

And the Assumptions were without form.

And the Marketing Plan was without substance.

And darkness was up the face of the Workers.

And they spoke among themselves, saying, “It is a crock of crap, and it stinketh.”

Life’s Passions and Monkey Business

May 6th, 2010

Monkey SeeIntro
I’d like to tell a story that I think I first read in one of John C. Maxwell leadership books.  It’s about 5 different monkeys, their names have been changed to protect the innocent.  You will know who you are after your done reading this post.

Story
There was a large cage that had five monkeys in it. Well you know how much monkeys like bananas right? Someone tied a banana onto a piece of twine and hung it high in the center of the ceiling. It was hung so high that none of the monkeys could jump up and get it. The monkeys stood staring up at the bananas. The door to the cage was opened and a set of stairs were placed underneath the bananas so that it would allow a monkey to walk up and jump and get a banana.

After a while a monkey goes and starts climbing the stairs. When he reaches the second stair, all of the monkeys are sprayed with cold water. The monkeys retreat and stare once again. Another monkey decides he will try which resulted in all the monkeys getting sprayed. A strange thing occurs. When the next monkey tries to get a banana, the other four monkeys prevent him from trying by attacking him.

Punxsutawney Phil Sees Shadow

February 2nd, 2010

Interesting Facts About Groundhogs
* Woodchuck and groundhog are common terms for the same animal
* Scientific name: Marmota monax
* Woodchucks can climb trees and also swim
* Groundhogs in the wild eat green plants, such as dandelion greens, clover, plantain and grasses
* They feed heavily in summer, storing fat for winter hibernation
* By February, hibernating woodchucks have lost as much as half their body weight
* So how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? About 318 kg

This morning Punxsutawney Phil came out of his winter slumber from his oak stump and saw his shadow. Phil sees his shadow.

Another 6 weeks of winter will there be!

Weekend Recap!

October 18th, 2009

gustophHello everyone. I’ve spent the last few days replenishing. I had some relatives in town last Friday evening and we went to an Authentic German restaurant, Gasthof zur Gemutlichkeit. I’ve been to some German restaurants but this was more like we were right in Bavaria. The mugs of beer were in liter sized mugs. There were plenty of glass boots as well. I had to toast so many people over the next two hours! Hoy! Hoy! Hoy!

It was a very festive time there. I remember looking around and there wasn’t anyone who wasn’t having a great time. The restaurant is known for their meter long bratwurst dinners. Yup almost three feet! I didn’t have that but I’ll bet my pork chops were one and a half inches thick. Next time I go I think I’ll bring along a designated driver. Boy did that stout look good. You can click the picture to enlarge the photo.

Crush-It-Book-Cover-final-smallI also read Gary Vaynerchuk’s book, CRUSH IT! If it isn’t a wake up call for everyone to get into action and live your dream nothing is. One of the first things you learn about Gary is he wraps his passion with his life. Even though he spends countless hours on his business, it’s not really work to him. It’s his life, his passion, and he wakes up every day looking forward to his passion, his work, his business. He says, and I’m paraphrasing here, if you are true to yourself, be it as a baseball fan, a pilot, a mountain biker, skateboarder, wine connoisseur, an interior decorator, stop doing what you hate to do, and start following your passion, you will be able to monetize it and enjoy your life’s work.

The second part of the book is about the action steps necessary to do. If you follow this blog, I’m on the right path. Certainly there are things I wish I could do more of but till I’m in the position of telling my boss to take a hike (coming sooner than you think), I’m spending a lot of time doing a lot of things. I can’t stop learning and still have weekly training. I’m coaching and teaching others. It seems it never ends, but… I really enjoy it. It’s not a hobby, it’s a passion I’m enjoying and eventually my income streams will pick up to the levels I expected. This I’m sure. So if you haven’t got the book yet, I highly recommend it.

wordpressI wrote a wordpress plugin to feature syndication of other tribe members. I actually had written some code that accomplished what I wanted but I needed to package it as a plugin and a widget. You can see it over on the right hand side called “Visit My Colleges”. It is a widget that will randomly pull an excerpt of one of the last three blog posts for a given list of colleagues. This will feature a college or tribe member. It does require a gravitar email address so without knowing some of them you will get a default picture sometime.

I expect it to also provide back-links for each tribe member you supply. There is no reason why a group of 25-50 people couldn’t be syndicating their syndication partners in this fashion. It will be configured in the dashboard and you can add as many or few as you want. So everyone who opens the site a different person’s except will be displayed. I use a combination of a gravitar API and a RSS parser in a PHP library called Simple Pie. Ya, its called that!. The plugin is about 98% done and will be available for everyone within 2 weeks. I need to do some regression testing with some other themes to see how it renders. I’m going to have a website for it with some FAQ’s I know will come and some video instructions. It will install just like any other plugin. I’m going to ask for people to register to get it and when they do, I’ll send them a link. I have a few others along the same lines right behind it. Some of the ideas might be “Last Three Tweets”, or “Breaking News”, or “Football Scores…” I’m sure I’ll think of more. Throw some ideas down in the comments.

secretI’ve always seen the trailers to the movie called ‘The Secret’ and my wife picked it up last week. I finally sat down to watch it. I’ve always been aware of what they call The Secret so there was nothing terribly new or profound that I saw in it.

What I did get out of it is that I sometimes tend to dwell on the bad things that could go wrong. My wife is aware that I have been changing for the better over the last two to three years so giving my 16 year old daughter the keys to my Cadillac has to mean something, right? I used to tend to think that I always ended up having the adverse consequences happen to me, like the tickets I get when I run into the bank to get some change to feed the parking meter because I don’t have any quarters. Or stepping out of my house in the morning when it is still dark outside and find the neighbors dog visited my grass last night. Or getting stuck behind the guy who’s afraid to go to the center of the intersection to wait when having to take a left hand turn. I guess I don’t mind waiting a light or two. When it comes down to it, what the heck am I in such a hurry for anyway. These are supposed to be the times you cherish.

Hope everyone else had a great weekend and hope your week is remarkable!

10 Things Maybe You Didn’t Know About Me

October 12th, 2009

Hey, everyone. Thought I’d give you a little bit of myself here. If I have a self confessed fault. It seems like I’m all business all the time. Everyone knows that all work and no play makes Chris a dull boy. But those that know me know different. So other than an old stale About Me page I thought I’d do one of those “Whatever you call it’s”, and answer some questions so you can learn what makes me tick. In this case I get to make up the questions too, so you’ll have some insight into my thoughts and maybe you’ll even read something that is shockingly funny or avant-garde.

1. What kind of music do you like?
santanaWell, I like all kinds of music. There’s also a lot I don’t. I love jazz guitar but when it gets brassy, I hate it. I play guitar but didn’t take it up till after I graduated from high school. In college I used to play for beer and broads. I’m still very partial to improvising blues, especially in the key of E. There is some new music I like but I would prefer to listen to something I already know I like. Same with going out to eat. When I find something that I like at a restaurant I order the next 50 times I eat there. There are several restaurants where the staff already knows exactly what I want. I even know exactly what the bill will end up being including tip. I digress. I like the guitar playing of Clapton, Jimi Hendrix, Pat Methany, BB King, Luther Alison, Carlos Santana, Richie Blackmore, Jimi Page, Pete Townshend, Steve Howe, and Frank Zappa. So there’s a lot of 70’s influence there and boy bands need not apply.

2. Do you like sports?
favreToday, I like watching sports that I’ve participated in. I’ve always been a fan of the underdog. As a kid I remember watching the Midwest brand of All Star Wrestling. It was a group started by Olympian wrestler Vern Gagne. Of course my grandfather, Adam was a Minnesota Twins fan, even though we grew up in North Dakota. So as a kid as far back as I can remember, the only toys I ever needed was a bat, ball, and glove. There was a group of 8-10 of us who had a vacant lot in our neighborhood. We played from sun up to sun down. As I approached middle school there were organized sports at school so I played football and wrestled. I wrestled for over 8 years through high school. I was pretty good to. I ended up winning around 80% of my matches throughout my career. Then after I got married I had a son, Andrew, who finally reached the age of 8, and he wanted to participate in some kind of martial arts. So he started taking Tae-Kwon Do lessons. I eventually joined. I had my knee reconstructed 15 years prior so I said I’d do it till my knee couldn’t do it any more. My knee never did give out and I became a black belt at the age of 40 around 4 years later. I even did competitive Olympic sparring and was Minnesota state champ one year. I’ve had some health issues, mostly orthopedic in nature and haven’t practiced in about 8 years or so. I would love to start up again. So now I’m vicariously living my life through another 40 something name Brett Farve. Didn’t I say I like to pull for the underdog. Doing what he is at age 40 is something! I just love that it bothers some of the Packer fans as well.

3. If you could do anything you want?
breadI really like going to visit places that no one else in their right mind would think of going. I would love to go through Europe on roads where the speed limit is not faster than 30 mph. I’d like to stop at every little town and village and meet with the people. I’ve spent a lot of time in eastern Europe in places there are no tourists. I got to sample the culture, the people, and experience things most tourist don’t. I remember one morning I was staying at a flat in Kishinev Moldova and thought I’d get up early to go to the market. All the bread is cooked fresh every day and I just love the bread over there. Anyways, it was not even 6:00 am yet and I went to the bazaar market to the kiosk where I could get bread. I sat there for a while and another gentlemen sat down and nodded to me and spoke to me in Russian. It was small talk so I understood it so I just answered, “Da”, yes. Well we were there for 10-15 minutes and he started talking up a storm. I understood a few words here and there so I could get the gist of what he was talking about. I just didn’t know how to answer. All of a sudden he squinted his eyes and looked at me funny as if expecting me to answer a question. All I could say, and I do say this very well in Russian, is “I do not understand the Russian language very well. I am an American tourist.” He looked at me, slapped his forehead with his palm and we just laughed. Those types of moments are priceless. The bakery did open. I then realized that I had no idea how much something would cost and they had no prices on any of their stuff. I didn’t want to be taken advantage of. I had to wait till someone got up who could help me at the market. It ended up being a 7 year old who knew how much bread cost. She also knew how much a quart of Chisinau beer costs as well. I could go on about my experiences in foreign countries, Amsterdam, Bucharest, and Prague. That’s what I’d like to do.

4. Do you like to fly?
cubIt depends on what your definition of what the word “fly” is. My mother used to teach flying. She was the first female flight instructor in the state of North Dakota. My father used to build and rebuild aircraft. He would disassemble every nut and washer from aircraft, recondition them, including rebuilding the engines, or powerhouses as they call them. Needless to say, I got to spend quite a bit of time in the air. That’s real flying. Sitting in an old Piper Cub or Tri-pacer following the river barely above the river was a blast. Those small aircraft were at the mercy of any winds. I remember coming in for landings with a strong cross wind. It felt like you were flying sideways to land and at the last second pushing the rudder pedal hard down to straighten out so your wheels were facing in the same direction you were moving. I also got to ride in some small aircraft literally falling out of the sky on the back of the plane upside down. There’s no amusement ride that can match that. As to flying in a modern passenger jet, you can have it. I’ve felt much safer in a small aircraft.

5. What is your favorite color and why?
blueI like blue and I’m not sure why.

6. Why are man hole covers round?
manholeI was once asked this in a job interview. Another question in the same interview was if you could be an ingredient on a pizza, what would it be and why? Strange interview. I never did get the job either. Well the reason man hole covers are round is because you never wanted them to fall in because it could hit someone and they would be hard to get out. You see the edges of a manhole cover have a lip on them that is always wider than the opening it had to cover. It could fit on the hole but never fall into.

7. Do you know who Illya Kuryakin is?
IllyaNow, I’m dating myself. There used to be this show on NBC called Man From UNCLE. One of the characters in the show was played by David McCallum. He was supposedly from Russia and his name was Illya Kuryakin. I liked his character, well actually the show. It was at a time when where there was espionage, spies, and international intrigue surrounding these really cool characters, so I thought. You can read more about him here. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Illya_Kuryakin

8. What is your favorite cartoon?
daffyWell it comes down to two. I watched cartoons religiously every Saturday morning starting at 7:00 till 10:30 or so. My favorite cartoons today, were not ones I watched back then. I like Daffy Duck and Foghorn Leghorn. Both of these characters had a penchant for mischief. I still do. I may one day do a Youtube video of my impression of Daffy duck. You’ll be rolling on the floor.

9. What kind of movies do you like?
emperorI like movies that are historically based. Some of my favorites are Empire of the Sun, The Patriot, The Last Emperor, 300, Apocalypto, Braveheart, and some older ones, and Hercules Meets the Three Stooges. I also like any movie dealing with time travel. It so intrigues me. So those movies would be The Time Machine and any of the Back to the Future series. Those will be forever classics in my mind. Another movie based on going back in time I could watch over and over and over is Ground Hog day with Bill Murray. Wouldn’t that be cool if you could live a day of your life over and over like he did. He had time to become a piano player, ice sculptor, he knew everything about everybody. There’s a teaching moment here that I can’t pass up. We can do those things because it’s never too late to learn something. Like sports, I like characters that are underdogs and prevail over something. So those are the kinds of movies I like.

10. What’s your favorite food?
pizzaIt starts with a P and has 2 Z’s in it. Yes Pizza! I don’t mean pizza that you buy. No Dominos or Papa Murphy’s for me. I like pizza that I make. I remember as a kid I always hated having to wait for my mother to get home to cook something to eat. I learned at an early age how to cook. My mother would teach me how to make things or I’d figure it out myself and I would start preparing many days prior to here getting home so we could eat soon after she arrived home. So my mother used to cook a lot of things from scratch. So I remember always having pizza. Over the years I have refined and modified slightly the recipes she taught me but today there is nothing like a home made pizza made by me. My wife loves it and anyone who has it does as well. I use flour, water, eggs, salt, tomato paste, tomatoes, chives, onions, garlic, green peppers, hot spicy Italian sausage, pepperoni, dried hot peppers, mozzarella cheese, and sometimes mushrooms. My mouth is watering writing about it. Hmmm

So… I’d like to hear a little quip from you answering one of these questions. I’m not going to send this around or put anyone on the spot or anything. But if you have an answer or maybe even your own question, I’d love to hear it.

I’d also appreciate a click of the Facebook or Tweetmeme button above. Time to go. I have to run to the market and get some pepperoni.

My Twitter Responses to New Followers

July 9th, 2009

Over at TweetLater.com You have the option of automatically sending a welcome message to new followers. I would bet most people use the default message and if they do customize one, they only have one. The first thing you should do is get rid of the generic message. Secondly, a rule that you HAVE to follow is to stop the urge to have a message that contains spam. If you want to repel someone, the best way is in your very first contact, try and sell them something. Thirdly, an option you have is to put in several, I use 20 return messages when someone follows me. Remember, you want to stand out, get the person curious, and maybe solicit some kind of response. I have some that range from the ridicules to the sublime. I actually have a high rate of response from these.

In order to set up the multiple rotating feature you need to wrap the 140 characters or less messages in curly braces {} and delimit them with a bar | . Here is an example of what I use. These are just a few random messages I send out and some examples of some of the responses.

Messages
{
If there’s one thing I just want is… it’s for you to have a remarkable day! Hope life’s treating you good. |
If you could ever get a nice European sports car, what color would you like? I’m thinking of a dark blue. |
Have you ever noticed that when you stop searching and looking for something, the thing then appears? Isn’t that weird? |
I like fishing. A bad day of fishing is always better than the best day of work. Do you get to fish as much as you want to? |
Now that I have so much free time my wife’s honey do list is growing. Little does she know it but I hire the neighbor kids to do most of it.|
I like apples better than oranges. Isn’t it amazing how we are all so much alike but each have our own peculiarities. Did I spell that ? |
Do you like beer? I do. Maybe too much. Maybe it’s because I have too much time on my hands. Maybe I need to get a real job. Nah…
}

Responses
No I do not get to fish nearly as often as I would like.. today, I would rather be fishing anywhere than working. ; )
I like grapes lol, we are all similar in some way Chris…have a great day
I live in Finland and the weather has changed today constantly. In the morning it was pouring rain, then sunshine etc. Where are you?
Thks 4 d folow.I lik beer 2.Prety mch budweiser.n a botl.Im crntly unmployd. lot of tim on my hnds 2. Hope th lottery pays off, doutfull.
Right now, more money to pay the mortgage, but usually i’d pick more time.

Action Item
Make your own auto-responder using the rules above, and you’ll actually start having some followers who are more apt to look at your profile and follow the link to your blog. Have a remarkable day.

Weekend Marketing Funny

June 27th, 2009

A mother relayed this experience, “I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. I was so surprised to see she was stark naked. As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, ‘Mom! That lady isn’t wearing a seat belt’!”

Marketing moral: See? It’s all in the perspective. How do you look at your marketing problems?

Weekend Marketing Funny

June 20th, 2009

Two beggars are sitting side by side on a street in Rome – one has a cross in front of him; the other one the Star of David. Many people go by, look at both beggars, but only put money into the hat of the beggar sitting behind the cross.

A priest comes by, stops and watches throngs of people giving money to the beggar behind the cross, but none to the beggar behind the Star of David. Finally, the priest goes over to the beggar behind the Star of David and says, “My poor fellow, don’t you understand? This is a Catholic country; this city is the seat of Catholicism. People aren’t going to give you money if you sit there with a Star of David in front of you, especially when you’re sitting beside a beggar who has a cross. In fact, they would probably give to him just out of spite.”

The beggar behind the Star of David listened to the priest, turned to the other beggar with the cross and said: “Moishe, look who’s trying to teach the Goldstein brothers about marketing.”

ChrisKilber.com

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